I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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