I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
