apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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