When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
