Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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