pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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