come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Text me some of your sweat
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