my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
