He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
