I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
