Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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