your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
