Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize