i think my mom watched the whole time
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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