So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
