why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
