Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
