I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
