turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
