dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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