You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
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