would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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