they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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