ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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