then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
