Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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