Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
