Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My balls are so social today.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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