Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
