So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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