Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
its not stalking. its research.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
