The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize