Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
