his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
