Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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