Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
