you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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