Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
