you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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