Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
please come you make the beer taste better
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
