I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
