Rock
Scissors
Fuck
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Every concussion has its silver lining
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
