i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize