Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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