so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
