Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
be right there i have to get my cape
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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