is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
