first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
