He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
