the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
