I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
