6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize