did you get engaged???
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
