You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
