Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wannas sexs uuuuu
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
