I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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