I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
