dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize