Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
