that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
