i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
