is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
