Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
