I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
