Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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