Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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