He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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