just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
