It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
