Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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