so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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