it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
A bitchslap is in order.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
