I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
